Fire protection from laughing to crying

Linden trees and blunt discs

Fire protection: The combination of poetry and art

The fire-resistant glazing extends over the entire height and is interrupted only by a fire protection disguised carrier.

This creates a generous spatial experience in which the inside and outside merge: The visitors of the hall see on the free-swinging stairs across the oval of a sun-drenched square and enjoy the view of the avenue of lime trees with their summery leafy trees.

The individual panes of glass are abutted with one another and connected without load-bearing posts with a silicone.

(Text vom Autor stark verändert)

Blagojevich Fire Department

Where is the fire extinguisher? Photo: Reinhard Eberl-Pacan
Where is the fire extinguisher? Photo: Reinhard Eberl-Pacan

Picture search : Where is the fire extinguisher?

A snapshot of the BERLIN MAXIMUM CLUB the business network of the Tagesspiegel.

Verlag Der Tagesspiegel GmbH
Askanischer Platz 3
10963 Berlin

Since the question arises: Where is the fire extinguisher?

a) top left
b) bottom right
c) in the middle

Instructions for use of fire extinguishers

There are enough wines about fire protection, especially in Berlin. Here is another good laugh:

What do orders, poems, jokes and instructionss have in common for fire extinguisher?

The best existance of short sentences!

according to Schneider, Wolf: German for connoisseurs, Munich 1996, p 192

 Wowereit wants to promote tourism in Berlin Photo: Messe Berlin
Wowereit wants to promote tourism in Berlin Photo: Messe Berlin

Fire prevention certaincy test

If a little old lady on Wowereit said: “Mr. Chancellor, tell me, who has planned the fire actually at BER Airport The politicians or the scientists?”

“But young woman! Of course, the politicians have planned to fire protection!”

“Oh! I thought so! The scientists would certainly have tried it out on rats!”

Bloomers from fire protection proofs

The fire resistance is improved, by the application of additional layers for the protection of the prohibition,
z. B. Putschisten.

Neue Zeile

Fire protection at the airport – a never ending story

Fire at a small, completely insignificant and unknown airport in Germany. Also needs to work, of course.

There’s a fire-brigade. You would like it estinguished. You want to see something here. You are irritated by the smoke. You want a smoke extraction. Also in the basement.

There is a small, totally insignificant and unknown architectural firm in Germany. It intends to implement the planning of small offices, etc. Fire protection and builds a smoke extraction.

There is again a fire-brigade. It states that the built removal of smoke does not function so at all. Where smoke wants to leak out, fresh air must go purely. Small, insignificantl, and unknown, what a pitty.

The small, etc. Architecture office wants to build a smoke exhaust supply air. Everyone is excited, everyone likes that, but it should not because it is thrown out.

Nevertheless, etc. A small airport receives a supply of air; somehow, eg by Nicholas because he is so sweet and so small.

Created! From the small etc. airport becomes the largest incineration plant in Germany. Poisonous gases out – fresh air purely, everyone is pleased, everyone likes that and a small etc. airport goes into enterprise, FINITE.

(Note: Of course, a small airport, etc. are other fire protection challenges We’ll talk about later, I promise!)

Oh Christmas Tree! O Christmas tree! How red are your sparks?

So he is correct: The Christmas tree at City Hall, with fire extinguisher within reach.
So he is correct: The Christmas tree at City Hall, with fire extinguisher within reach.

Magnificent, 7 m high it should be, and – as in 25 years – provide Christmas cheer during the Advent season, in Barmer town hall. Every year it thought its representative place between Paternoster and the input area to the patio where it could unfold its luminous and glittering splendour by full height.

Now, nevertheless, a fire prevention expert saw red! He has announced considerable doubts because of the present location:

  • in case of a fire a “chimney suction effect” can originate and
  • climbing up dense smoke can make escape routes impassable.

The Christmas tree was therefore banned this year in the foyer and trimmed, by half, to 3.50 meters due to the lower ceiling height

In the city hall one makes, so from now on, with the half trimming of the Christmas tree and the “shrivelling process” in the management, does not take away from urban Christmas tree.

At the same time, the energy balance of the city will be enhanced, even the lights are only half as long.

In the coming years, further savings will be added, when there will be no more seven-foot Christmas tree in the middle of the Barmer town hall. Although, the oder of a “fire protection Christmas tree” is still suitable.

Weiterlesen …

Alarm at the Embassy

A cold Berlin winter dawn breaks through the barred windows of the Embassy of the Arab Republic of (name withheld).

The fire protection engineer gets into his car on the way to work.

His Excellency, the Ambassador gently asleep in the Belle Etage, his driver freezes in the basement.
The fire protection engineer freezes in the car.

The driver of the Ambassador warms his tea.
The fire protection engineer makes warm thoughts.

The cold tea splashes into the brand new plastic thermos of the driver.
In the car, the fire protection engineer spills gasoline.

The driver thermal flask is on the hot stove in the kitchenette.
The fire protection engineer is looking for a parking space.

Smoke rises at the embassy.
The fire protection engineer gets out of the car.

More smoke rises into the embassy.
The fire protection engineer is looking for his key.
Even more smoke rises at the embassy.

The fire protection engineer enters his office.
The fire alarm system smoke smells at the embassy.
The fire protection engineer smells like coffee.

His Excellency,the Ambassador is rudely awakened from his fire alarm system.
The fire protection engineer brought his computer.

The ambassador is angry.
The fire protection engineer is still tired.

The ambassador shouts after the servant.
The fire prevention engineer is irritated by his phone.

The Ambassador picks up the phone.
The fire protection engineer picks up the phone.

The Ambassador yells into the phone:
„HELLO MR. ENGINEER, STOP THIS NOISE!!!!“

The construction meeting

There is a thickness of air in the construction site meeting.

The representatives of a well-known Berlin fire protection agencies have been delayed.All – including a well known fussed builder and project developer – are waiting for the solution to a tricky fire question.

Finally, the experts arrive.

For environmental concerns, they have used the U-Bahn.

- Unfortunately they have been caught –

Traveling without a ticket!

(Note: The story is completely fictitious resemblance to actual persons, are purely coincidental and in no way intentional.!)

If there was a meeting of Bavarians…

… it would only take half as long!

Mia san mia es ist durchaus alternativlos für Sie, unsere Meinung zu teilen
… und schreim uns uns … sonst könnten wir uns zu unberechenbaren Maßnahmen hinreißen lassen!
Ja spinn i Ich kann gar nicht glauben, was sie mir erzählen!
Wia laft´s nachad so? Wie sind Sie mit der Performance zufrieden?
Ois is isi Ihrem Wunsch folgend, können wir die Änderungen sofort einbauen
Ha? Könnten Sie die Frage noch einmal wiederholen? Dieser Sachverhalt scheint mir sehr ungewöhnlich
Ja vareck Auf diese Wendung der Dinge waren wir nicht hinreichend vorbereitet
Eha Das ist aber eine Überraschung
Des is a Gfrett Die Komplexität des Problems zwingt uns zu einer gründlichen Überarbeitung
Aus iss Kaum zu glauben, dass sie in so eine Situation kommen konnten
Gäh weida Und Sie konnten für dieses Komplizierte Problem eine Lösung finden!?
De Saubande … Das aggressive Marketing unseres Mitbewerbers …
Den wann i dawisch Bei unserem nächsten Meeting werde ich die Sache noch einmal ansprechen
Host eam gseng Sein Auftreten in dieser Situation war wohl nicht ganz angemessen
A so a narrischa Kampe, a narrischa Die vorgeschlagene Lösung scheint etwas überdimensioniert
Dann guad Nacht um sechse Unter diesen Umständen werden wir das Projekt wohl on hold setzen müssen
Des sog i da Diese Sache möchte ich besonders betonen
Do wennst ma ned glei obhaust Mit dieser Sache möchte ich mich im Moment nicht befassen
Kon scho sei Es spricht einiges dafür, dass Sie Recht haben
So iss aa wieda need Der Sachverhalt ist komplizierter als, er sich im Moment darstellt
Schau ma moi Detaillierte Aussagen sind im Moment nicht opportun
A bissl wos gäd oiwei Eine Kompromisslösung ist vorstellbar
Do schiabt se heit nix mea Die Arbeiten können heute leider nicht mehr fertig gestellt werden
Jetzt wart ma moi Im Moment sollten keine Entscheidungen getroffen werden
Wennst moanst Ich akzeptiere ihre Meinung, würde aber das Gegenteil vorziehen
Schmarrn Da bin ich anderer Meinung
Des woaß i aa ned Darauf kann ich im Moment keine Antwort geben
Nacha back mas Wir werden uns um ihr Problem kümmern
So a vareckts Glump Im Moment besteht ein Qualitätsproblem
Dea ziagt ned Der Kunde teilt in dieser Angelegenheit nicht unsere Meinung
Aba heid nimma Es ist uns heute leider nicht mehr möglich
Heia samma hi Wir werden nicht umhin können, für dieses Geschäftsjahr eine Gewinnwarnung herauszugeben
Do legst de nieda Konsequenzen in dieser Schärfe waren uns nicht bewusst
… und stehst nimma aaf … wir sehen uns aber gezwungen, sie zur Kenntnis zu nehmen
Ziefan, bläde Der Umgang mit diesen Karrierefrauen kann einen manchmal schon die Nerven kosten
Sog bloß Entspricht diese Darstellung wirklich den Tatsachen?
Mei Fahren Sie mit ihren Ausführungen ruhig weiter fort

Oh mei Die Entwicklung der Dinge nimmt offenbar einen unerfreulichen Verlauf
Ja mei Das ist nun mal der Lauf der Dinge, wir sollten uns da heraus halten.
Scho aa In diesem Punkt teilen wir ihre Ansicht voll und ganz
Nia In diesem Punkt verfolgen wir einen etwas anderen Ansatz
Spinn i ganz Die Sache überrascht mich aber sehr
Sauhammi, bleeda Wir sehen uns gezwungen, Ihnen das Vertrauen zu entziehen
Sammas? Damit schließen wir die Veranstaltung. Es war eine große Freude, mit ihnen zusammenzuarbeiten. Wir danken allen Teilnehmern für ihre wertvollen Beiträge und die Zeit, die sie uns geopfert haben. Gegebenenfalls werden wir wieder auf sie zukommen.

The old lime trees

Also beautiful:

We placed a siltation for several very old lime trees, in order to prepare with an inventory building of the turn of the century a setting up surface, because the 2nd emergency route was missing there.

After months of big discussions with the green area office, finally, there is an answer.

Excerpt:

“… A spare plantation is to be carried out at the same place.”

from Wiebke falcon
IBP – engineer’s society for Brandschutzplanung mbH
Member in the XING group Architecture timber-frame construction fire prevention

Gruppe

The Operations Centre

It is the running of a major international event in a major German city. Those responsible for security and order participate in a daily employee meeting.

All incidents and observations are presented and discussed in detail.

The security situation seems manageable and well organized.

The “Head of Production” asks everyone, once again, whether they still had something to contribute, or else he would like to close the meeting and everyone can go back to work again.

Shyly, the used fire prevention officer shows a photo on his digital camera. The picture shows a view in the application headquarters. In the cover, there are taped smoke dispatch riders with plastic mugs. Under it, there sit the application forces and… smoke.

(Note: The story is completely fictitious similarities to real-world situations or people are purely coincidental and in no way intended.!)

Eberl-Pacan
Architekten + Ingenieure für Brandschutz
Brunnenstraße 156
DE-10115 Berlin-Mitte
Tel. +49 30 700 800 930